Making Memories

Every December my girls and I pile into the car, get hot chocolate, and drive around town looking at Christmas lights. We chat, laugh, comment, say silly things and when we get home we all comment on how nice it was to be together.

This Thanksgiving my daughters and I spent alone, without extended family. We ate a traditional meal. Focused the majority of our eating on dessert with three types of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, a cheesecake, and a chocolate torte. We laughed and groaned about eating too much. Played a new card game and went to a great movie. It was a terrifically wonderful day.

My daughter turned eighteen a few weeks ago. We drove to a bigger town and ate at her favorite restaurant where I gave her a special ring with three sapphires…symbolizing our little family. Upon arriving home we pulled their mattresses into the family room, made popcorn and had a slumber party. It was a great night.

One of my best friends is Diane. Diane is a brilliant counselor, my dearest friend, and a mother of four grown children.  Whenever we talk on the phone in the evening, before we say goodbye Diane tells me to go ” hug those girls, they’ll be gone before you know it”. She told me  this for years and she is right.

My oldest daughter is a senior. This week we put a deposit on her college dorm room. Everything we do now, we think about how life will be next year without living with us. My youngest is in 7th grade. She is taller than me and just got braces.

Life passes so quickly doesn’t it?  It was over six years ago when we returned from Norway to set up life here.  My daughters were eleven and six. I’d divorced their father and life started completely  over for the three of us. I look at pictures of them and it seems like an eye blink ago.

Years ago I subbed for a middle school English class. This was a class for all the  naughty kids who’d been thrown out of  regular class. They were experts at eye rolling, spit balls throwing,  and lewd comments at the ripe old age of thirteen. 

Their assignment was to write an speech about their favorite gift or experience.  It was around Thanksgiving time and there was a frenzy of  advertisments for Christmas ”stuff”.  I was curious to hear what they’d write about.

A long haired, goth looking boy stood up and talked about his dad taking him fishing. Next  a girl with heavy eyeliner, and multiple  piercings talked about a family reunion in a city park and how her family along with uncles, aunts and cousins all played a fun game of softball.

As the speeches continued a clear and consistant message evolved. ..i.e.  it isn’t about the “stuff”. Not one kid talked about the electronic game he’d received or great clothes she’d scored. Not one.

Each and every child’s favorite memory was about a special time their family spent together.

So this Christmas, as you eyeball the “stuff’ in the store remember that it will be in the garbage long before the memory of  those priceless moments are forgotton. 

We have no control over the days passing quickly, and this year the economy may tighten our Christmas wallet…but we can still create memories that last and bring smiles for a lifetime.